Eight Mindsets to Help You Raise Healthy, Resilient Kids: A Preeminent Wealth Advisor's Perspective
As someone who has spent decades helping individuals and families preserve and grow wealth, I've understood that success principles are not confined to finance. The same foundational mindsets that guide us to achieve financial independence can be applied to one of the most important investments we'll ever make—our children.
Raising children is like growing wealth: it takes time, patience, and the right mindset to foster their growth into healthy, well-adjusted, and successful adults. As we carefully plan for a sustainable financial future, we must be intentional about the lessons and values we impart to our children. Let's explore eight powerful mindsets that can shape our parenting and our children's futures.
1. Control: Give Them the Room to Grow
A common instinct in parenting and wealth management is maintaining control to ensure the best outcomes. However, research tells us that giving children some degree of agency—allowing them to play, explore, and engage in independent activities—can significantly boost their mental health. Too much structure and oversight can stifle their growth. Similarly, in wealth management, we know that letting investments mature over time without micromanaging often yields better long-term results. By giving our children room to grow, we are investing in their ability to manage themselves in the future.
2. Trust: Cultivate Responsibility Early On
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is our trust. Just as a wise investor knows when to let go and trust the process, parents must learn to trust their children to handle challenges independently. Encouraging self-directed play and opportunities to contribute to the family or community sends a powerful message: "I believe in your abilities." Trust fosters self-reliance, a trait critical in childhood and throughout life, whether navigating relationships, careers, or financial decisions.
3. Risk: Allow for Calculated Risks
In both parenting and wealth building, risk is unavoidable. The key is teaching children how to manage it effectively. From a young age, allowing children to engage in play involving some risk—whether climbing a tree or taking on a challenging project—teaches them resilience and problem-solving skills. As with investing, not every risk will pay off, but over time, these experiences build confidence and reduce fear. Teaching kids to take measured risks sets them up for greater emotional resilience and preparedness for life's inevitable challenges.
4. Struggle: Embrace the Process of Learning
We often shield our children from struggles, wanting them to experience only success. However, like in financial growth, struggle is where the real lessons lie. Let your children see you grapple with your own goals and challenges. Show them that success isn't instant—it requires persistence, resilience, and, sometimes, a course change. As investors know that patience through market volatility often pays dividends, demonstrating perseverance will inspire your children to work harder and stay committed, even when the road gets tough.
5. Praise: Reward the Effort, Not Just the Outcome
As a parent, praising effort over results is akin to valuing the process over a single financial return. Praising children for their innate abilities—such as intelligence—can hinder their development, making them risk-averse when faced with challenges. Instead, focus on their effort, strategy, and persistence. Like compounding interest, these habits will pay off significantly over time, nurturing a mindset that can handle setbacks and adapt to changing circumstances.
6. Modeling: Be the Example
Our children are watching us closely—just as investors scrutinize their advisors for clues on behaving in uncertain markets. If we want our kids to embody values such as responsibility, resilience, and kindness, we must first live those values ourselves. Sometimes, we stumble, but even those moments are opportunities to show our kids how to handle failure gracefully and come back stronger. Being the model of the behaviors and attitudes we wish to instill is one of the most impactful things we can do as parents.
7. Mindfulness: Prioritize Quality over Quantity
Much like wealth management, where thoughtful, quality decisions often outperform rapid, reactive moves, our time with our children follows the same principle. Studies have shown that the quality of time we spend with our kids—being fully present in the moment—is far more impactful than the number of hours we clock in. Whether during a board game or an evening walk, these mindful moments are what your children will remember and cherish, and they will contribute more to their well-being than endless, distracted hours together.
8. Quality: Value the Simplicity of Everyday Moments
The best investments aren't always flashy, nor are the most impactful moments we spend with our kids. Rather than packing our schedules with grand activities or luxurious vacations, focus on the everyday moments that foster connection. Simple family routines—like preparing a meal together or reading before bed—can build a foundation of trust, love, and security that far exceeds any material gestures. Ultimately, these "ordinary" moments may provide the most valuable returns in your relationship with your child.
Conclusion: Cultivating Success in Parenting, Just Like Wealth Building
The mindsets we apply to raising our children are just as important as the ones we use to manage our financial affairs. By instilling in our children values of trust, resilience, risk management, and mindfulness, we can help them build a foundation to support them throughout their lives. Just as a solid financial plan creates security and freedom, adopting these mindsets will equip your children to navigate life's complexities confidently and gracefully.
Your actions today set the stage for tomorrow's success in parenting and wealth. Embrace these mindsets, and you'll be investing in the most valuable asset of all—your family's future.
Let's work together to ensure that your family's legacy is built on financial security and the values that truly matter.
Insights from John J. Bowen Jr. inspired this blog.
